Category: Blog

It is September 1 today. And often this date is linked to ‘back to school’. Some kind of a ‘new start’.

A bit like January 1. But you could also see it as a ‘trial run’ …

I like that.

Much less stress! ;-D

 

I’m going back to school as well. As from tomorrow, the corporate trainings are starting again.

I’m looking forward to it.

Both the trainings as such (talking about things I feel passionate about… and hopefully inspiring people while doing so…) but also the fact that I will be work with groups again. I quite like groups. It’s a different type of energy and interaction.

But before I say goodbye to this summer, I’d like to take a moment to pause and decide what I would like to take with me and… what I’d like to leave behind.

What did I like / is good for me and therefore I want more of it?

I really enjoyed my 5 days in Genoa. Did you know that, many years ago, I have lived in Italy for a while? I noticed it had been far too long. I missed it. And indeed, once I arrived, it really felt like being ‘home’ again (even though I had never been to Genoa).
And while it might be a bit difficult to plan this on a regular basis, I could try and find out which elements I would also like to incorporate into my life in Belgium.

• Walking: I used to walk much more. During covid I walked every day. I want to go back to (more or less) 10000 steps a day. It feels good. Despite the fact that it was very hot, I walked a LOT in Italy.
• Apart from the ‘physical’ aspect of the 10000 steps, I also love the ‘wandering around’ … walk around, follow my eyes, intuition and see where it takes me. Discovering things… savouring them… I did a lot of that in Genoa and … I could also do some of this here.
• And sometimes it was just too hot. Or I was tired. Then I would read on my bed, for hours… During the ‘school’ year I mostly read books for work and less for entertainment. Just because I enjoy reading. This too could change…

Do you see where I’m going with this? These are just some examples. There  are more. I just want to inspire you.

And what would I like to do less of or differently?

I’ve realised that I got way behind on admin and … cleaning… Part of the reason was that the period before the summer had been really busy. At moments like that it’s very important to me to take good care of myself, to be able to keep going. On the other hand, I have to admit I can always come up with 1 or 2 things I’d rather do than … admin and cleaning… ;-D
That means that part of the ‘holidays’ was spent on that too.

I’d like to change this.

What are my options?

• Work less so I have more time for admin and cleaning… This being said, I think my job will always be a bit ‘seasonal’.
• I could delegate… but I’d rather not do that at the moment.
• I could start the habit of doing small chores on a regular basis, before they all pile up and seem totally out of control.

I’m going for the last option. And it will probably be a combination of dropping some bad habits and … implement some new ones.

Step by step.

 

What about you?

What would you like to take with you and what would you like to leave behind?

I invite you to take some time to think about it. And then pick something (if that feels right for you).

My advice would be not to start to big… It’s a trial run, remember?

Research has shown that you will more likely stick to changes when they are small. No need to be too ambitious.

What would you like to do on a daily (or weekly) basis, because you really enjoyed it during the summer?

And what would you like to do less off? Or more (my example of the chores) so that the next holiday will be even more of a holiday?

One step closer to the life you really want to live!

Start small, you can always make it bigger or add things later.

#youalwayshaveachoice #YAHAC

Good luck!

PS: Personally I will be using ‘Atomic habits’ from James Clear. You can look him up on Youtube. Or would you like me to do a webinar/workshop on the topic? Do let me know!

In the last blog, I already mentioned ‘red’ and ‘green’, our batteries and our barometer.

‘From red to green’ has really become my ‘thing’ (have you noticed by any chance? ;-D) and I often talk about it. It seems to be something universal. People can relate and … they want to work on it.

Let me share with you one of my ‘sources’, which confirmed what I was already thinking myself.

In one of the trainings I give as a subcontractor in a big international organisation, we mention the TedTalk from Jim Tamm.

He starts with a study about chickens: red zone chickens and green zone chickens.

Green zone chickens are the collaborative chickens: they get along well, they are nice to each other, there are no star performers in the group.

In the red zone group, there are some star performers (laying more eggs), but they are also more aggressive, and they are causing damage: to the environment and to each other.

They wanted to find out if it was possible to breed collaborative instincts into chickens, and if so, what would be the impact of that on their egg production?

The two groups of chickens were followed for a year (=5 generations) and this was the result:

The green zone chickens were healthy and productive. And the production of eggs increased by 260% that year!

The red zone chickens were either dead (more than half of them had been pecked to death by their colleagues…), or in very bad shape…

 Jim Tamm made the link with people and organisations…

He had been a judge for 25 years and he had noticed that people often behaved ‘red’.
Conflicts escalated, people were not collaborating, mostly because they didn’t have the right tools to do so.
He did a lot of research and started to teach, and he realised that ‘nothing will help you become more effective at resolving conflict and building collaboration more than better managing your own defensiveness.’

What is his premise?

‘When we get defensive, we are not defending ourselves from another person. We are defending ourselves from fears inside of us that we don’t want to feel.’

Interesting…

And what are these fears?

‘Fears about our own significance, our competence and our likeability.’

This was quite the eye-opener for me.

Just imagine:
You’ve just given a presentation at work, and somebody asks you a question.

When you are calm and confident, you will answer the question and that’s it.

But what if you were already a bit nervous. It might be possible that you are afraid (deep inside, it often happens at a subconscious level and very fast) that they won’t think you are smart enough, or that you are not the right fit for the job. This might trigger you and you will get defensive!

Can you relate?

Defensive is ‘red’ and when we react in a ‘red’ way, we are not at our best behaviour… We are in the action-reaction mode… and our defensive behaviour will also trigger their defensive behaviour…  And before we know it, we have a conflict.

What can we do about this? Jim describes some steps and I add some extra tips:

• Acknowledge to yourself that you are getting defensive. Personally, I think mindfulness can help to become more aware of your thoughts, feelings and behaviour.
• Do whatever you can to slow down your physiology (=go back to green) – breathing techniques can help, moving around (if possible). We’ve discussed this before, and I’ll definitely come back to this.
• Pay attention to your self-talk – often it’s our own thoughts that cause all the stress and make things worse. Have you already done the free training ‘Don’t believe everything you think!’. It gives you the tools do deal with this.
• Create an action step that is directly related to whatever your sign of defensiveness is – if you tend to raise your voice, try and keep it low… – I know, self-management is going to be key here!
• Start over: you will probably need this again…

 

What do you think? Interesting?

When I first saw the video, it confirmed a couple of things, and I became even more aware.

I recognize my ‘red behaviour’ more quickly and I try to

• Go back to green
• Understand why I’m so triggered (which fear do I not want to feel?) and … can I work on this in order not to be so easily triggered in the future?

I will definitely come back to this. If you have more questions, do let me know. It helps me to create more content.

If this is something you also want to get better at, make sure you are signed up for my tips and tricks.

 

#fromredtogreen
#energymanagement
#youalwayshaveachoice
#YAHAC

 ‘Wishing you a GREEN and STRESSFREE 2024’

When I say GREEN, I’m not talking about the climate or political parties. I think that other people can do that much better.

My GREEN is about ENERGY MANAGEMENT: physical energy, emotional energy, mental energy… to name a few … and they are all interlinked…

What if we compared our body to a BATTERY.

During the day, while we work, live and play, the energy level of our battery goes down. And there is nothing wrong with that. As long as … we can recharge afterwards.

This recharging happens, amongst others, while we relax and sleep.

Usually everything works well. But sometimes, our lives are too stressful (too red), and our nights are not good (=not GREEN enough) and if this goes on for too long… we stay in red, even while we rest and sleep. The ‘charging mechanism’ breaks down… and the battery doesn’t recharge, even when we think it does. (Don’t worry… it can be fixed again, more about this in 2024).

My first wish to you: not too much red and enough GREEN so you can keep on recharging that battery!

Let’s now move from that battery to a barometer…

And imagine that when the arrow points to GREEN, you are calm and zen and when it is in the red zone, you are triggered and stressed… And moving from one side to the other can go very quickly, or … you can get stuck in red (or orange) for longer periods of time or … with certain people ;-D.

Let’s look at an ‘acute’ example:

You are having a conversation, and everything seems to be ‘love, peace and harmony’ and … suddenly the person says or does something that triggers you… It is possible that you will go abruptly from green to red  and … that the tone (and the outcome!) of the discussion changes completely…
Has this ever happened to you?

And how about this ‘chronic’ example:

Suppose you don’t like Peter very much. Maybe he does things differently than you would. Maybe you’ve asked him to do something and he didn’t… Maybe he triggered you in the past (= the ‘acute’ example…).

If you don’t ‘explore’ this and work on it, you will probably be ‘red’ whenever you interact with him, you even might turn ‘red’… just thinking about him…

My second wish to you: realise when you are in red and be able to turn back to GREEN.

The quick ones might already have noticed the connection between the battery and the barometer… If my battery is low, I am more likely to be or move to red.

If my battery is full, I am more likely to be in GREEN (or be able to move back to it).

And… if the arrow on the barometer is too often on red, this will have an impact on my battery…

Is my ‘wishing you a GREEN and stressfree 2024’ making more sense now?

My goal for 2024?

• Make sure I have a functioning, recharging battery.
• Notice when I go to red, and do my utmost best to go back to GREEN.

I will be managing my energy!

I will keep on learning about it, experimenting with it, sharing about it and teaching it.

If this is something you also want to get better at, make sure you are signed up for my tips and tricks.

My very best wishes,

Nancy

#fromredtogreen
#energymanagement
#youalwayshaveachoice
#YAHAC