Nancy Batens

 

Last Sunday I had a lovely day at the beach.

I was very much aware of the ‘silence of nature’, the soothing sound of the waves and I felt totally relaxed. I felt I was ‘recharging my batteries’. And this is what I would like to talk about today.

Very often people talk about energy leaks or drains on the one hand and energy givers on the other hand. Let’s have a closer look.

What are energy leaks or drains? These are the tasks or activities you don’t like to do, they make you tired, you might want to postpone them…
For me, some examples are: dealing with ‘resistance’ during a course, ‘victims’, business traveling, my disorganised office (yes, still…)…
Keep on wanting to change something that is not under your control (like for instance somebody else’s behaviour) may be a big leak. Or doing a job that doesn’t give you any satisfaction… Or complaining colleagues…

On the other hand we have the energy givers: activities that make you happy, that give you energy. Again, this can be anything … If I speak for myself it can be working on some creative project, seeing a participant ‘getting it’ during a training, quality time with my nieces and nephews, brainstorming with like minded people, and many other things… Other energy givers can be doing sports, dancing, engaging in your hobby, … the list is endless.

The standard advice is to decrease your energy leaks and drains and to increase your energy givers. That makes sense, right?
So, it could be useful for you to think about your own energy leaks and givers, the ratio between them and how you could do something about it (if necessary).

But where is the problem? Many people think there are only these 2 categories. So… as long as they have enough energy givers, they are safe… (I used to think this too).

And this is not true. While it is important to have a lot of energy givers we also need something else. Energy givers give energy. However, you don’t always have to feel ‘energetic’… Because feeling energetic costs energy! Are you still with me?

My friend Anouk said the following:
“There is being stressed, there is being relaxed and there is re-charge.  And for your body to recharge you have to do something that asks very little of your body and mind. A good sleep is one, but meditation, bird watching, gardening, yin yoga, a massage, a bath, a facial, a sauna………. all these activities can help you to reload your batteries IF, and only IF you can do them with very very very very little effort. Rushing to the sauna, trying to stop your mind while discussing your friend’s marriage problems, knowing that your next appointment is in an hour and you should be getting ready to go is NOT a power recharge.”

And she is so right…

Recharging implies ‘SLOW’.

Lying on the beach, listening to the surf, I was recharging. Walking to that spot and back, slightly too quickly, having my 10.000 steps in mind, possibly ruined it a bit…

Do yourself a favour and make a list of the activities that are restful to you. And make sure to create space for them every day, a couple of times a day…

Especially before going to bed…

So what about you? Do you have a recharging activity? Do you create enough space for it? Let me know in the comments!

If you liked the above, you can sign up for more Tips & Tricks here.
Looking forward to hearing from you!

Do you know these little ‘tomatoes’, used in the kitchen? Well, they can also be used outside of the kitchen… and help you to better manage your time.

The Pomodoro Technique is a time management method developed by Francesco Cirillo in the late 1980s. It’s named after the tomato-shaped kitchen timer that he used as a university student.

How does it work?

• You decide on the task to be done
• You set the timer (=25 minutes)
• You work on the task until the timer rings. When you get distracted, don’t start doing something else (if necessary, take note of it to get back to it later) but keep on focusing on the task
• After the time is up, you take a short break (3 to 5 minutes (I take 5!)) and then you go back to 1
• After 4 pomodoros (or pomodori?), you take a longer break (15 to 30 minutes)

This is the simplified version. For those who want the full options, please visit the original website.

While you can use this to manage your whole day, I’d like to share how/when I use it. And even when it’s very personal, I might inspire somebody else.

• Let me start with a confession: I procrastinate… Especially when it comes to things I don’t like, things that are a bit overwhelming and … when working from home (=plenty of distractions). When I catch myself doing it again, I go to my pomodoro (or I simply use the timer on my phone). I set the timer and during that period I am not allowed to do anything else: my mail programme is switched off, no social media, no excuses. When that timer is on, I know I mean business… Almost always it will get me started and … when the time is up, I am almost sorry… Sorry enough, to want to get started again after the short break.

• I like to use the pomodoro linked to my ‘stone’. You have probably heard about the vase filled with stones, pebbles and sand (see one version here). I like to do at least one ‘important’ thing everyday and I usually break it up into 2 or 3 pomodoros.

• I’ve just finished a course to become a CSR coach (Chronic Stress Reversal coach) and there I’ve learned that it’s ok to work hard as long as you ‘rest hard’ too… The ‘mandatory’ break after every 25’ of work is a great reminder. I usually have a drink or even a dance break (to get to my 10000 steps and raise my energy!).

I will definitely come back to tell you more about the last point but in the meantime, you might want to try out this technique yourself.

Do you use it already? Can you imagine yourself using it in the future? I’d love to read about it in the comments below!

If you liked the above, you can sign up for more Tips & Tricks here.
Looking forward to hearing from you!

 

Years ago I wanted to start a postgraduate in mindfulness. This meant attending a class once a week (not necessarily always the same day) for 1,5 years.
At the time I was working for 3 contractors, delivering training all over Europe.
Going back to study would mean that I would be less flexible to travel.
You can imagine I was not too keen on sharing this information with my ‘employers’. For weeks, possibly months, I was going through scenarios in my head:

• They will be upset
• They will not want to work with me anymore
• I won’t be able to make a living anymore
• …

These were the most important ones, but of course the scenarios where in full colour and with lots of details.
After a while I finally decided to go for it and I told them. And guess what. All three of them said… ‘OK’. That’s it… Nobody upset, work kept on coming in and not much changed. So… I worried and got stressed for nothing.

Has this happened to you?
Worrying, fretting, brooding, …?
I’m pretty sure it has…

But why do we do this?

Actually our minds are ‘programmed’ this way: to help us survive in a world full of danger. This is great in case of ‘real danger’ but not so good when it comes to ‘worrying’ about ‘possible’ danger… Because thinking that something bad is going to happen is enough to activate the stress response… And is that what you want? I don’t think so…

So what can you do about it?

1. Be aware that you are worrying. You can only do something about it if you know that you are doing it … Mindfulness can definitely help: becoming aware of your thoughts, your feelings and the sensations in your body. Too often we are on the automatic pilot. Stopping and landing (see tip 4 further ahead) will help you to get better at noticing.
2. If it makes you feel better, set aside specific times during the day to engage in worrying. Set a timer and look for solutions, so it becomes productive. When time is up, you have to stop worrying. If you catch yourself worrying at other moments of the day: take note of the topic and … keep it for the next session. Don’t plan these sessions too late at night so they don’t interfere with your sleep. Also, make sure to do a relaxation exercise afterwards…
3. Analyse your worrying: can the ‘problem’ be solved? Is it under your control or not? I like the concepts of Byron Katie: Is it my business, your business or God’s business?
4. Stopping and landing. When losing yourself in your thoughts, it can help to come back to the here and now by focussing on your breathing and/or your body. You don’t need any fancy apps for this… Take a seat, notice how you’re sitting on the chair, feel your feet on the ground, your straight back and bring your attention to your breathing. Where do you notice your breathing in your body?
5. Think of your thoughts as clouds in the sky. There are big clouds and small clouds. They can hang low or very high. And one thing they have in common: they will not stay there, they will pass by. Imagine you are lying in the grass, or on the beach. You are looking straight up and you see the clouds. And you observe them, without turning your head to follow them… Now you see them, now you don’t. If you’ve practiced the previous tips and they don’t work as well as you would like, it can help to look at your worries in the same way: from a distance, not engaging, not ‘following them’ (=getting into them). And trusting that they will pass. Always.

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I’d love to read your comments below.

If you liked the above, you can sign up for more Tips & Tricks here. Looking forward to hearing from you!
There is also the free mini-course: Don’t believe everything you think… Check it out here!