Category: Blog

Last week I had lunch with Mary. She had changed jobs since I last saw her and when I asked her how things were going, she said she liked it a lot. It was interesting, she got to know new people, and then I heard a slight hesitation… “However, I have problems with the new colleagues.”
After having been there for more than 6 months, she found it quite hard to ‘ignore’ these bad relationships, despite the fact that she liked the content. “I’ll try to hang in there for a while, but I don’t know if I’ll last long”, she said. A friend had told her she should leave as soon as possible. And then the question: “What do you think I should do?”

You know my tagline is “You always have a choice” but I also believe the choice should be yours… I might tell you what I would do but do I know for sure what I would do until I was really standing in your shoes?

I think there are several things to take into account.

NEEDS?

When it comes to the nice job and the not so good relationship with the colleagues, let’s check what is ‘putting more weight on the scales’.
On the one hand there is the nice job. Which needs does it satisfy? Learning new things? Getting to know new people? Something else?
On the other hand there is the not so good relationship with the colleagues. Which needs are not met? Acceptance? Cooperation? …

As long as the balance leans towards the nice job, it would make sense to stay.

However, it’s important to keep on paying attention to the little signals the body will give you. Should you start to feel more and more stress, it may be time for a second evaluation, possibly with a different outcome.

BUFFER

Whenever confronted with a stressful situation, it’s important to take good care of your buffer: it will limit the impact of the stressors (In this case the colleagues’ behaviour). What does this mean? Take excellent care of yourself by sleeping enough, eating well, having a good network of friends, doing sports, etc…

WHOSE BUSINESS?

The author Byron Katie talks about 3 types of business: my business, your business and God’s business.

The colleagues behaving a certain way is their business: not under your control… But that doesn’t mean that there is nothing you can do that might have an impact…

• Have you considered trying to look at them differently?
• You might want to try out ‘Cognitive Restructuring’ or ‘Giving them a fish’…
• You might want to try opening up to them, starting with a DESC… (in a non defensive way!).
• Often people behave a certain way because their need is not met, they don’t feel ok… The moment they start to feel better, they are much nicer company…

In conclusion, dear Mary, I would suggest you start by analyzing your needs and then by having a second look at the 10 short videos of ‘Defeat your stress in 10 days’: they’ll give you a short summary of the concepts I proposed afterwards. I hope it helps! Good luck!

Nancy

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During the stress management courses, I always mention the importance of having a strong buffer. If you take good care of yourself, you’re less prone to stress. One way to do this, is to eat well. If you subscribed to ‘Defeat your stress in 10 days’ you might remember tip 3: “Eat well and keep the stress down”. (If you haven’t it’s not too late: you can do it here.)
Often people say: I don’t have the time to have a healthy breakfast.
Excuse me, I disagree and… to prove that to you, I’ll give you 3 recipes I use myself. And they can all be prepared in less than 4 minutes!

1. Granola, yoghurt and fruit

Nothing smells and tastes like home made granola… It’s very easy to make. My recipe takes 5 minutes to mix and 15 minutes in the oven. That’s it. And the fact that your house smells lovely afterwards is a total bonus!

What do you see on the picture?
– 4 table spoons of granola
– 1 portion of yoghurt (I take soy yoghurt but you can take whatever you want)
– Fruit (in this case I took fresh raspberries but it can equally be a banana , an apple, a pear, …)

So how long does that take to prepare? 1 to 2 minutes, depending on if you need to cut up some fruit or not…

There are many recipes on the Internet to make your own granola. You can find the one I use here. I like it that there are no rules, you make your own variation depending on what you like: you always have a choice! One remark: I only bake it for 15 min. at 175°C

Other sources: Deliciously Ella, Uit Pauline’s keuken

2. Green smoothies

I’ve been drinking green juice for years. Green smoothies are not called this way because of their colour, but because they consist of fruit and leafy greens (spinach, salad, …). When I tell this to people, they look at me in disgust… Spinach? In a smoothie?
Yes, and actually, spinach is an excellent choice: if you add this to a banana, some strawberries etc… I promise you, you won’t taste the spinach AT ALL! This is not the case for all leafy greens so… for ‘beginners’ certain recipes are better than others…
And it ticks all the boxes:
– It’s quick: it usually takes me 2 minutes to make and 1 minute to clean the blender (also interesting…)
– healthy (you might even reach your 5 portions of fruits and vegetables in one go…) and… by adding some vegetables to your fruit, you decrease the sugar intake.
– And it’s yummy!

My usual combo?

– Spinach or lamb’s lettuce (both rather neutral)
– Half a cucumber
– Some celery (if you like it, you do taste it a bit)
– A banana (sometimes frozen – ideal solution when you have too many bananas that are getting too ripe… They also make the smoothie nice and creamy)
– A pear
– Some (frozen) raspberries
– (if necessary some water)

This is a ‘common’ one but it might depend on the season or what’s in the fridge…

You can also add lots of different ingredients and ‘superfoods’: chia seeds, nut butters, protein powders, whatever you like…

For inspiration I can recommend the following sites:
– Kris Carr: She has a digital recipe book with green juices and smoothies but there are also free recepties on the site
– Simple Green Smoothies: a couple of times a year they have a free challenge and they send you 31 recipes…
– Deliciously Ella
– Julie’s lifestyle (both in English and Dutch!)

3. Oatmeal

Another favourite of mine. It’s quick (my version takes 3,5 minutes), it’s healthy (reduces risk of colon cancer, good for decreasing cholesterol, risk of high blood pressure and risk of mortality from cardiovascular disease) and it’s yummy because of the frozen raspberries I add…
But my main reason for eating it is it keeps me full for a long time (which is very important when you have breakfast at 6.30 am).

My ingredients?

– 1 cup of oats
– 2 cups of unsweetened almond milk (or soy milk. Of course you can also use ‘normal’ milk.)
– frozen raspberries

How do I make it?

I put the oats and the milk in the microwave oven for 2 minutes 15 seconds. (I know some people will object to the microwave but… I want it to be quick… I’m sorry. You do what you feel is right for you). And after I’ve added the frozen raspberries, it goes in for another 1 minute 15 seconds…
That’s it! When I use the unsweetened milk, I add some stevia. When I use the ‘normal’ versions, I don’t.

I have to admit that I like it a bit less when it’s 30°C outside but let’s face it: that doesn’t happen very often…
In that case you can choose ‘overnight oats’: google it and you’ll find a lot of recipes: you put the oats with some milk or yoghurt in the fridge so they soak overnight and in the morning you add whatever you want… You can even take it to the office and have breakfast there…

I know this post is a bit longer than usual but… you have 3 recipes in return. Have fun experimenting and feel free to share other combinations or ideas in the comments below!

Enjoy!

If you liked the above, you can sign up for more Tips & Tricks here. Looking forward to hearing from you!

 

 

July has started, it’s been very hot in Belgium: the holidays are in the air!
For many people this is the time to recharge their batteries…
And while we all know very well how to recharge our phones, tablets and computers… do we really know how to recharge our own batteries?

For many people it is sleeping more. And while taking enough rest is definitely extremely useful, I believe there is more that we can do. Let me give you some tips!

1) What did you like to do as a child?

Children naturally do what they like to do… When I was I child I liked to go for long walks. Every day (especially during the holidays, not necessary on school days…) I went for a 5 km walk. I always took the same route: the first km there were houses but then there was just nature for another 3,5 km and towards the end I was in the village again. I loved it! Enjoying the green, being alone with my thoughts… When my friend wanted to come, she was ‘tolerated’ but I didn’t really need the company…

Another thing I loved was reading… I lived in a small village and the library was only open on Saturday and Sunday. Sometimes I went on Saturday to borrow 3 books, which I finished the same day to go back on Sunday for 3 new ones. During the week I had to read slower… to make it until the next Saturday… Well, every year I still take some days off to go somewhere on my own, usually near the seaside, and my days are mostly filled with walking and reading…

2) Are you taking enough time for yourself?

We often are busy in our other roles: parent, partner, employee, friend… And when the 24 hours of the day have been distributed, we notice there is not a lot left for the most important person: me! Does that sound selfish to you? I am not saying you should ONLY think of yourself… However, you should ALSO take care of yourself… Think of the metaphor of the oxygen mask in the plane: why would they ask parents to put on their own mask before taking care of their children? Well, if you are not taking care of yourself, you can’t be there for the others… In that sense, you have to come first… So… let’s make ‘self care’ important in July and August. I know it’s easier when you are on holidays (Is it really? Or are you, even when you are away, still trying to please everybody else first?) but even when you are working during the summer, try and insert a little bit of ‘self care’ every day. Maybe it is reading 1 page in a book you like, have bit of time for yourself after lunch or in the evening, have a foot bath… Because you are worth it!

I will be sharing my ‘self care’ on the Facebook page and Instagram! If you need a bit of accountability, why don’t you join me?

3) And finally: do it mindfully!

Recharge your batteries not because you have to but because you want to and… don’t do anything else while you do it… I know it’s tempting… We are so used to multitasking… While you are having that foot bath: don’t plan your whole week ahead… Enjoy the foot bath, notice how it makes you feel… When you are eating something special: enjoy it, notice the texture, the smell, …

Personally I will especially pay attention to mindful eating this summer… Too often I eat to quickly…

Let’s recharge those batteries, ok?

Hope to see many photos on self care on the Facebook page and/or Instragram. Make sure to use the hashtag ‘self care’ and to tag me!

Enjoy the holidays,

Nancy

If you liked the above, you can sign up for more Tips & Tricks here. Looking forward to hearing from you!